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Doin’ the Cringe

PULLING AN OLD ONE OUT OF THE DRAWER.

Wargame projects complete for the moment, I’ve returned to my post-apocalyptic fantasy story, Shattered Worlds. I’ve spent the last two weeks editing the second portion and am reminded I’ve been chipping away at this one for a long, long time. So on top of feeling like a total slacker, there’s a dash of cringe as I review and correct the original draft from 5+ years ago. Honestly, it’s as daunting as writing a whole new book. In fact, I suspect that might be easier… which is part of the reason I’m also first-draft into a dungeon crawl adventure. (more on that later)

It’s all part of the process, though; that learning to do something poorly before you can learn to do it well thing. IIRC, it was Stephen King who said that every writer who continues gets to that place where they want to buy back every copy of their first book so no one ever reads it. This is one instance I can say ‘I’ve arrived’, and also confess I have NOT reread my first novel – Running Black – for that exact reason. (that and the fact I don’t have the $$$ to repay the few dozen gracious souls who plowed through it.)

RB was 2009/2010. Now here I am in 2023. I can’t judge accurately if my writing has ‘improved’ in the last 13+ years; I hope it’s better. It’s changed, that’s for sure. If I’m being totally honest, it wasn’t until the recent Soul Cache that I was confident enough for a Kirkus Review.

Thing is, the desire to write keeps scratching at the back of my mind. It’s important for my soul – my sanity – not just for those monthly royalties. Perhaps I’ll achieve a measure of commercial success someday. Perhaps not. Either way, I’m going to keep at it.

Regarding Shattered Worlds, I think even after all this time the story has good bones and that I’ve gotten to a place craft-wise to do them justice. I’m also confident the dungeon crawl piece will be decent, partially because I’ve learned from my many mistakes and cleared enough junk out of the way to make a half-decent show of it. God willing and if the creek don’t rise and the cattle don’t stampede, both will be available by the end of this year.

Now it’s back to work for me. Have a good day.

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Now Available

Quick post to say Gopnik Blues, the third short story set in the mysterious Exclusion Zone is now available at Amazon.

Thank you. Have an excellent day.

Savak Tull, smuggler, trader, and all-around shrewd businessman has a lead on a ‘Yellow Gypsy’; one of the top secret laboratories hidden though out the Exclusion Zone. If true, this is a once-in-a-lifetime shot at making some real money.

But life before the Zone taught Savak if something is too good to be true, it usually is. So the real question with that kind of money on the line is can he trust this lead? Or is his past going to catch up with him?

Gopnik Blues is a story for fans of the S.T.A.L.K.E.R and Metro 2033 post-apocalyptic worlds, or the tabletop war game, Zona Alfa.

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A game and a story walk into a blog…

A GAME

The manuscript for my latest tabletop war game, When Nightmares Come, is with the publisher now. *whew* Finally.

Seems Osprey Blue Books are shifting to a new format with a slightly longer page count. This is good for me because I pushed the envelope and wound up a thousand words over the line – and that was without any flavor bits or a Quick Reference Section. I’m trusting the editor to shoehorn everything in, along with the cool illustrations and a creepy, noir-ish reference map for linked missions/campaigns. “A game of occult investigation and supernatural warfare” is slated for release next March, so there’s plenty of time to get all the bits to fit. (probably involves a hammer)

Nightmares is designed for Solo/Cooperative gaming and it’s built on an established set of mechanics, so I’m confident it will run smooth. I think people who want a streamlined, modern monster hunt/narrative skirmish game will enjoy it. I’ll talk to my game group and see if we can’t get a few more games in the rotation.

A STORY

Sneaking through the Cordon for a third time, I’m coming to the end of another Exclusion Zone short story. This one’s about a sketchy Trader, (a smuggler) his schemes, and a hot tip on some artifacts. Proofreaders, a final round of editing, it should be at Amazon Kindle by the end of the month.

Someone in the Stalker7 Facebook group asked about a compilation. A fine idea but the first two stories are already in Fits and Orisons, so I’d need a Zone fourth story, exclusive to a new, focused collection, to give it value. I’m usually short on time, not ideas. But I guess I’ll add that to the ‘To Do’ list now…

ON THE RADAR

New mission packs for two of my games, dungeon crawl fiction, part 2 of Shattered Worlds, and another stand-alone war game. Busy, yes. But beats the opposite. The game will be Sci Fi, this time around. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll stick with Solo/Co-op or circle back to PvP. Either way, it’ll give folks an excuse to get their stray minis on the table and start forging cool stories and waging desperate battles against fearful odds. (for the ashes of their fathers and the temple of their gods…)

That’s it for now. Thanks for reading. Have an excellent day.

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Consolidating Efforts?

War Game stuff.

That’s where I’ve been the last 2+ years; playing with toy soldiers.

Four tabletop rule sets, six supplements, numerous one-shots. Add to that the current slate of WIP: another stand-alone game for Osprey Wargames, two new five-part adventures, and a full-length second edition/variation of an existing game.

I run both weekly and monthly war game/RPG sessions these days, and now have a hobby-related FB Group with roughly 1.8K people from a dozen or so countries.

I’ve even managed to hammer out a novella at some point: Soul Cache. Which is included in the print collection of short stories, Fits and Orisons. Currently on my office computer is third Exclusion Zone short story, the first draft of a dungeon crawl novella, as well as the mountain of notes, drafts, and research for the four-part post-apocalyptic fantasy series , Shattered Worlds. (link to part 1, Broken Moon) And let’s not talk about all the other, previous projects languishing in digital limbo.

So yeah, I’ve doing word stuff the last three years. Just not here. *

By this point however, it’s glaringly obvious my war game/RPG work draws several orders of magnitude more attention than my fiction ever did. (oh well…) Which brings me to the question of merging HSSJ with Stalker7. Seems to me what I need is a central hub, a single site that highlights both my games and my stories. I need to not only work smarter, but respect the support I’ve received over the years by offering consistent content and engagement to anyone interested in either facet.

That said, in the coming weeks I’ll investigate the procedure, time, and expense required to merge the sites without losing connections and content. For now though, both HSSJ and S7 will stay as is. Updates as the situation develops.

Thank you. Have an excellent day.

  • there was a legal FUBAR in there too – a spurious shakedown for cash by a B-List SF writer and his gaggle of out-of-state lawyers over the use of the word ‘hardwired’. TL:DR – I got had, trapped on a technicality. I was reliably informed by attorneys that I would have won any case brought against me, but would have had to underwrite the time and expense of defending myself from 2/3rd of the way across the country. Cheaper to take the hit and pay them off. Live and learn. My brush-pass with the big time, I guess.

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Thoughts and questions on AI-generated art

AI-generated illustration. ‘cyberpunk commando hacking a terminal in a corporate facility’

On Random. Coming from someone who spent nearly four decades in the trades, 25 years in custom glass work, and currently writes spec-fiction and indie war games.

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– Hasn’t technological innovation changed the face of labor and jobs for centuries in every field?

– Were there boycotts, social backlash, new laws introduced to curb the use of robotic assembly lines in automotive manufacturing in order to preserve the human workforce? (Answer: No – not in any meaningful way.)

– Why should artists and artisans be exempt? What about the countless thousands of other workers down throughout history in other fields whose jobs were changed or eliminated by machines?

– Do we shame/blame/restrict the one-man street busker using a Korg Volca Sample Playback Rhythm Machine for ‘denying revenue to fellow musicians’ ?

– At the risk of sounding rude – is much of the current push back really just Cultural Luddites whining now that the indifferent tide of progress has arrived at their door?

– Regarding cost: do artists and artisans have the right to demand, to enforce, the purchase of their products at higher prices when for many people, less expensive, machine-made goods suffice for their particular needs and are within their budget?

– Shouldn’t people be allowed to use, to purchase what they want? Doesn’t the final decision and ultimate responsibility rest in the hands of the consumer?

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Below are six examples of text-prompt, AI-generated art. I spent twenty bucks and a few hours of mucking around with the program.

When I did stained/leaded glass work, I occasionally had that potential client who would point out that they could purchase an entire leaded glass entryway at Home Depot for the same price as I was asking for custom panels. They were correct.

Of course it wasn’t an accurate comparison; mine was one-of-a-kind, custom design, colors, exact fit, etc. As opposed to an assembly line, limited selection, mass-produced product. But it was their home, their money, their budget, their decision.

These days, as a ‘Very Small Business’ i.e. a one-man outfit working out of a home office, I’m watching costs, trying to break even, and scrambling to pay bills like everyone else. I hire artists, editors, and graphic designers whenever and wherever I can. But also need time and money-saving tech.

When I already use GIMP, Canva, Shutterstock, and Word Editor to help my work, reduce costs, and make ends meet, why not use AI-art as well?

Is it unethical to do so? Am I somehow callous, disrespectful, sabotaging creatives, stealing income if I use the program for my work?

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Connections

My sister-in-law died this past weekend.

About nine months ago she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. Metastasized. Several parts of her body. No real shock after a long life of poor diet, hard partying, and Marlboro Lights. Decades in California, she came back to the East Coast at the end, and alternated living with her Dad/my father-in-law in NY, and my mother-in-law near us here on Cape. She had returned to a nursing home in NY with constant care and proximity to medical attention. My wife got the call Saturday morning.

Death is always sobering. It’s a Neglected Stranger in our culture too, I think. Gore-ified or sentimentalized on screen, it’s avoided in IRL conversation. Even the religious people I know don’t do death very well.

I’ve been told I’m moving into that stage of life when funerals become more common than weddings. Which may be true but is still a bit shit, TBH. This passing is even more off-key because of the long-standing distance in the relationship. It feels more like a hole of what should have been than a loss of what was.

It’s not that we didn’t get along; even after 40 years with her sister, I didn’t know her. Not really.

She wasn’t angry or wounded in any overt way – she came off as disinterested. As if she were too busy or didn’t want/care/need other people. Things were civil but sparse. It was nothing personal either; she had made a point to distance herself herself from everyone in her family. Separated from her husband, on the other side of the country, no real friends or community to speak of. Just work and beer and cigarettes and books.* Frankly, I’m not even sure she ‘battled’ her cancer; she seemed to just go along with it. There’s no funeral, no wake, no memorial, no will… just a phone call, a box of personal effects, and cremation arrangements.

I keep expecting grief at her passing, a celebration of her life. The stuff I’ve seen and done before. And that may be happening on some level – this is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a human being here.

To be fair too, I think there was more conversations in the last nine months than the previous nine years. So that’s light years beyond the earlier default setting. She spent time with her mom, her dad, my wife/her sister, an old friend these past few months.

But still I have the image in my head of turning off the light in a hotel room on my way out the door; I spent time there, it’s kinda familiar, but there’s no connection. And that feels weird. Wrong, somehow.

It makes me ask about my own life and death. About my connections. And if that’s even a thing anyone can really know.

Which is full circle back to the sobering effect of death. Not the Ice Bucket Challenge kind, but the long-term, deep and wide roots. The ‘live for your eulogy, not your resume’ kind.

Which is where I end, sitting here with no honest, definite answer. Just hoping and praying, and trying to keep moving forward.

Have a good day. Love someone.

*Yes, that may sound perfect to some people. But it’s not, not really.

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Merry Christmas 2022

Side view of an empty manger at night.

Behind all life’s complexities stands the simplicity of God’s love.

I wish you and yours grace, courage, and peace as you close out 2022 and go into the new year.

Thank you.

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The Spring Slog

“April is the cruelest month…”

Wife and I finally got Covid. (Happy Easter, eh?)

I’m on the mend but it really took the wind out of my sails. After-effects are hanging on.

On a positive note, it looks like there’s another Osprey rule book in my future. So that’s cool.

Fiction-wise, I’ve got another Exclusion Zone short in the queue and Shattered Worlds Book 2, “Into the Scorned Lands’ is moving forward.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Stay well. Have an excellent week.

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Meanwhile, back in the Shattered Worlds…

Laying out my writing schedule for rest of this year, it’s past time to turn my attention back to the fantasy post-apocalypse of the Shattered Worlds. (think Middle Earth meets the The Road and you’re in the right neighborhood)

Part One, Beneath the Broken Moon, introduced Addas Dashag, the half-breed scavenger thrown into a damaged landscape in search of a dubious refuge. Next up is Into the Scorned Lands as the misfit company continues on their quest through a world more broken and dangerous than they’d imagined.

Scorned Lands will be released separately for Kindle as well as packaged with part one in print. (see the cover art above) Providing the river don’t rise, the cattle don’t spook, and hell don’t freeze over, both will be done and out before the year’s end.

Thanks for your time.

Keep heart, art hard, and have an excellent day.

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More Words to Listen to.

With the release of the Soul Cache for audio, (as well as for Kindle and in print) I figured it was time to mention the other stories of mine that are available at Audible.

Tales from the Exclusion Zone

For those of you familiar with the STALKER setting – the book Roadside Picnic, the Tarkovsky film of the same name, and the Chernobyl-centered computer games – there are two short stories set in the mysterious Exclusion Zone: A Prayer to St. Strelok, and Strange Treasure. If you’re in need of a quick vacation from the real world, you can tag along with Zone Guide, Yuri Bonyev into the most heavily quarantined place on the planet.

NEAR-FUTURE MILITARY SCI-FI

THE STONES REMEMBER

If you’re more in the mood for some ‘15 minutes in the future‘ military action, there’s Hard Kill, The Stones Remember, and Sozo. Covert operations, Russian invasions, and veterans facing down traffickers, it’s all here.

A CELTIC-FLAVORED GHOST STORY

For lighter fare, The Barrow Lover is the story of two friends mucking about with buried treasure, a royal murder, and one angry ghost. Nice way to lean into the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day – if you’re so inclined.

All of them run a couple hours or less, and with a fine job by all the narrators, any one of them would be an easy way to take the grind out of some drudge work or liven up your daily commute.

That’s it for now. Thanks and have an excellent day.