“Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”

“It’s nothing serious.”

I’m talking about Sy-Fy’s Helix here.

Mr. Moore – with all due respect – it just ain’t working. You’re the guy who resurrected Battlestar Galactica, who won a Hugo for the outstanding episode “33”, and this is the best you can come up with?

I wanted this to work out. Really. You’ve got good actors, a decent if well-trodden premise, bucket loads of potential down there in the secret arctic research base, but we’re on episode 7, and still all I have is weak, unlikable characters treading thin plot lines. Rager-zombie types and incongruous pop music don’t make up the difference, dude. And you’re just dragging out the whole ‘mystery virus/conspiracy’ trope ad nauseam. Doreen, the only engaging character, is dead, (rat in the mouth thing was gross) leaving me a bunch of either vaguely callous or painfully incompetent ‘scientists’ who are oblivious to even the basic safety standards of a home-remodel, let alone a bio-med research laboratory. And who’s the pudgy guy with the Glock and bad haircut? Mall Security?

At this stage, I could care less what happens to the lot of them. My opinion? Initiate Quarantine Protocol. Let ’em starve.

Or better yet, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

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